


a world of temporary things

by labelleepoque



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bittersweet, Compliant with Show, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Friendship/Love, I Made Myself Cry, Katara and Zuko do not end up together, Love Confessions, Not Compliant with Avatar Comics, Post-War, Sad, Zuko (Avatar)-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29598870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labelleepoque/pseuds/labelleepoque
Summary: “Okay, spill. Why did you and Sweetness stop talking?”“I don’t really know why.”A slight frown appears on Toph’s face. “Katara told me the same thing.”
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	a world of temporary things

Zuko’s eyes flutter open as he feels the fire deep inside him stirring. 

He blinks as he adjusts to the morning. He can still smell the ash and hear the screams, the dreadful screams of his younger sister. A sister who climbed so high that her fall was steep and relentless. 

His golden orbs shift and it is not the damaged courtyard that he sees but Katara’s misted eyes and wide smile. 

His breath catches as something shifts in their minds and hearts. 

Katara leans in and presses her lips against his and he kisses back with equal vigor. They wrap their arms around each other, around the new day.

When they pull apart, they wipe the tears from each other’s cheeks and laugh. 

They laugh because the world is dead and alive and old and young and captive and free all at once. 

There is nothing against them. 

(Nothing except for everything.)

* * *

He takes her into the garden and they sit by his mother’s favorite pond. 

They break bread together and speak in hushed tones. 

(Maybe they are afraid. But what is there to be afraid of now? 

Themselves, always themselves.)

His eyes take in her braid-soft as silk and woven with the hydrangeas he had picked that morning. 

Out of nervousness, he keeps his hand at his side though he longs to touch her hair and the soft flowers. 

The waterbender bites her lip before slowly reaching out to intertwine her fingers with his. Her hand is warm and steady against his, grounding him to this moment. 

Katara looks away from him, trying to hide her blush. “I care for you...more than I thought possible. I want you to be happy.” 

A soft smile forms on his face. He wants to tell her that maybe all he needs to be happy is her. If he could live in this moment for the rest of his life, it would be more than enough. He could tell her all this but he doesn’t. Zuko kisses her, trying to convey all the things he does not have the ability to say. When they pull apart, he presses his forehead against hers and says, “I want you to be happy, Katara. I-I care for you too. And I’m happier than I’ve been in a while.” 

A bright smile cuts across her face. “Really?” 

“Yes, really.” 

* * *

Their friends arrive three days later-weary and grimy but with the brightest smiles he has ever seen. 

They have an impromptu party in the garden, with fire flakes, dumplings, and watermelon juice. 

Zuko laughs as Sokka, Toph, and Aang indulge in a dumpling eating contest and he lifts Toph in the air after she wins. 

It is well-past midnight when Aang and Toph poke and beg him to play a song for them on the pipa. Once he finishes, he flushes because of the awe-struck looks on their faces. Then they all beg until he plays three more songs. 

The firebender is almost to the doorway to his rooms when Katara takes his hand and leads him out into the garden.

Soft moonlight caresses their faces as they hold hands, looking up at the stars. 

Katara takes his hand up to her mouth and presses a soft kiss to the back of it.

“I’m not ready...I don’t think either of us are. There’s so much to do, it’s like our work hasn’t even begun,” she murmurs as she holds his hand up against her cheek. 

He knows, oh does he know. He and Iroh have spent hours on end squabbling with government officials in preparation for his coronation and the peace summit. It will not be easy to change his country, to take what was once barren and make it bear fruit again. 

Their people have the qualities of fire, they are spirited, strong-willed, and formidable. They will not bend to just anyone, despite his royal blood (or perhaps because of it) Zuko must prove himself to be worthy of them, of this new age. 

A low breath escapes Katara’s mouth as she looks up at him with soft eyes. Hesitantly, she asks, “I just-. Will you promise to wait for me?” 

He doesn’t understand why she asked him that. Even the sun does not promise to shine, it just does.

Zuko learned long ago that nothing in life is promised-not family, not love, and not even a future. Everything he has now, he had to fight for and he will continue fighting for these things until the day he sees his last sunrise. 

Gently, he pulls her into his arms and holds her, whispering something that is hard but true because the truth is all someone like him can give someone like her. “I’m sorry, Katara. I care for you so much but I can’t promise you that. I can’t really promise you anything. Only that I’ll always want you to be happy even if you don't end up finding that happiness here with me.” 

Her expression shifts to one of sharp sadness and he sees how he’s hurt her. He didn’t want to but he did.

She slowly untangles herself from him and walks towards her room. 

Zuko doesn’t chase after her. 

* * *

His crown glitters in the mid-day sun as he stands in his blood red formal robes. He and Iroh stand at the dock, saying their goodbyes to their friends as they go off into the world. 

Katara is the last to approach him, bowing to him in formal Fire Nation fashion. He huffs in frustration, tired of the bowing, the submission, and the reverence of court. His friends are not his subjects, they are bound together by bond not by blood and covenant. Instead of returning her bow, he pulls her into a hug. 

In a soft voice, she whispers into his ear. “I know you can’t promise me that you’ll wait but I can promise you that I’ll come back. I mean it, Zuko. I’ll come back and then we can try.” 

Zuko doesn’t reply verbally, he is not sure that he could. The firebender just presses a kiss in her hair, too quickly for anyone else to notice. It is for them, only them. 

Later, he watches her ship become smaller and smaller in the distance with a heaviness sitting on his heart. 

_She promised, she promised to come back._

Her voice was honest, filled with care and hope. Katara was telling him the truth. He knows that she was. 

Yet he cannot bring himself to believe her, not completely. 

* * *

As soft strands of sunlight take over the sky, Zuko walks into the High Temple of Caldera and bows before the council of sages. 

Head Sage Shyu takes slow and deliberate steps to approach him and anoint him with oil. 

The sage takes his time to form his words slowly and deliberately. “Your majesty, how may we be of service to you?” 

Zuko looks at them with clear and intense eyes. “How may I be of service to you?” 

Shyu furrows his brow and looks back at the other sages. “Your majesty, I do not think I fully understand. Would you care to explain to us?” 

Zuko nods and rises to his full height, taller than a good number of the sages. “I was reading about the old days where the Fire Lord would make himself of service to the temple. I wish to make myself of service.” 

He clasps his hands behind his back as he takes in the varied reactions of the council, a Fire Lord has not visited them this way, not since the time of Sozin’s father. Zuko adds, “The nation is changing, trying to find itself again. Many in this world think we are depraved, beyond redemption. I just think we are lost. And everything that is lost can be found.” 

Every morning he goes to the temple for morning prayers, then schedules an hour to remain there. He either does various off jobs, studies the sacred texts, or discusses the concerns of the people with Head Sage Shyu.

One day as he leaves the temple, he looks up at the proud sun, enveloping the city in light. Maybe in this new age, their people can be more like that. They can give instead of just taking, they can help instead of just hurting. As he walks back to the palace, his gait is lighter, quicker as new hope seeps into his heart.

 _We can change, we can change._

* * *

The Yu Dao crisis nearly ruined everything. His relationship with Aang took some hits but they came out of it as greater partners and friends. 

With the Fire Nation’s international interests secured, Zuko returns to his domestic goals. 

There are many in court who oppose him but that is to be expected. Every Fire Lord has a faction against them, some more vocal than others. Zuko likely has the largest organized opposition to his reign since the Camellia-Peony War. 

He wonders if he should be concerned by how little that bothers him, he does not care about pleasing the noble class, they have been catered to for the past 100 years. He knows that his actions are the best measures to help the Fire Nation move forward. 

Before Iroh left for Ba Sing Se, they worked to select strong advisors and staff that are loyal to him and his agenda. (It helps that their trustworthiness was confirmed by Toph.)

The Fire Lord spends a great many hours in his office, slumped over his desk as he signs decrees and introduces new law codes and taxes. He even sells off the many estates and lodges of the royal family, keeping only the Ember Island house. Zuko overrules existing laws to nationalize several major industries to run them more efficiently while selling off others to private citizens. 

His council overalls the central government, reorganizing it to fit the post-war world. His advisors decrease the size of the imperial household and increase the departments of education and public works along with creating a department of veterans affairs. He selects a small staff to recover Air Nomad and Southern Water Tribe artifacts and return them to the temples and the South Pole. 

The first assassination attempt happens in his sitting room, the servants find him convulsing on the floor from poisoned tea. 

After this attempt, he calls in Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors to work as his guards. 

After the second attempt, the sea vultures of court begin circling, awaiting his demise. 

His nameless, faceless enemies bomb theater houses and hospitals. They assassinate loyal officials and bribe others. They plaster his old wanted posters across the countryside. They speak against him and his _international friends_ in loyalist newspapers. 

They are both everywhere and nowhere at all. 

Zuko lays in his bed, reading a copy of _Love Amongst the Dragons_ as he considers what to do next. 

His great-grandfather, grandfather, and father fought a war across the plains and valleys of the world, for territory and glory. 

He has his own war, an internal war. A war fought through shadows and whispers across the Fire Nation and the newly freed colonies. 

A soft knock is at his door and he looks up to see Mai standing on the threshold-half in his world and half out of it. 

“I got your message, Zuko.” 

* * *

“I'm sorry for waiting so long to contact you, for treating you as I did but I need your help. My enemies are growing in strength, beyond the known chatterboxes in court. These people are more dangerous than I thought.” 

“What do you want me to do?” 

“Be what you were for Azula, what you trained to be.” 

“Really? What would your friends think? Your uncle?” 

Zuko reaches out and touches her slender hands. “Do you see them here? It is only us, Mai.” 

* * *

Sometimes he thinks of their talk in the garden and her promise to him. 

(Did he imagine all those moments? 

He remembers the smell of her hair and her soft lips against his. 

No, it was real. It was all real.)

He can’t pinpoint exactly when the distance started but one day he woke up and realized he had not written to Katara in months nor had she written him. Maybe out of fear that she would not reply, he doesn't attempt to write to her again. 

Zuko still keeps his contact with his other friends, not as much as he would like to but they are all busy with their lives and duties, trying to chart their own paths in this new world.

He and Suki spar at least once a week, her katana against his dao swords.

They talk and laugh, a welcome respite from the burdens of ruling. 

Aang visits every couple of months, bringing news from the Earth Kingdom. The situation is still somewhat tense after Zuko decided that aid to the Earth Kingdom would be reduced in favor of an increase in trade but Kuei and his advisors are beginning to see the benefits. 

He and Sokka correspond every couple of months about the rebuilding efforts in the South Pole and anecdotes about the people in the tribe and people in court. 

Toph pops in and out of the royal palace as she pleases, she even has her own designated room in the guest wing of the palace.

The earthbender arrives with the setting sun behind her and announces her presence in his rooms. 

With a smirk, Toph states, “Our uncle told me you might need some help around here.” 

A smile tugs at his lips as Zuko says, “You mean _my_ uncle.” 

Toph blows her long bangs out of her face. “No, I meant _our_ uncle.” 

They sit in Zuko's room enjoying plates of steamed pork buns and tea. 

She leans forward and speaks in a firm voice. 

“Okay, spill. Why did you and Sweetness stop talking?” 

“I don’t really know why.” 

A slight frown appears on Toph’s face. “Katara told me the same thing.” 

Zuko fiddles with the sleeve of his robe and furrows his brow. He tries to keep his voice even as he asks, “Is she okay?” 

Toph lets out a long sigh, “Are any of us?” 

* * *

Zuko walks down a long corridor towards Azula's room at the hospital. 

The nurses bow as they open the door and he looks in to find his younger sister painting the sunset outside her window. 

Azula blinks her eyes several times, as if she is unsure if Zuko is truly there. “What do you want, Zuzu?” 

Stammering, Zuko replies, “How did you know I wanted something?” 

Azula sets down her brush and begins to laugh hysterically before she calms herself. “Fire Lord Zuko, the Dawnbreaker would not visit the likes of me without a reason.” 

Zuko pushes his long hair over his shoulder before chokes out the words he never wanted to say. “I...need...your...help. Traitors are trying to overthrow our ancient family, the family that Agni chose above all others.” 

A slow grin appears on Azula's face. “What will you give me in return?” 

He pinches the bridge of his nose, “Your freedom.” 

* * *

Mai, Toph, and Zuko sit in an empty warehouse in the rural Fire Nation surrounded by small candles.

Mai looks at Zuko with a neutral expression, only her voice giving away to the turmoil swirling inside her. “Zuko, you've done a lot of stupid things but this...this is something else. I can't even attempt to understand your decision-making process on this.” 

Toph cracks her knuckles and places her bare feet on the table. “I gotta agree with Knives here. Your sister is crazy, did you forget she zapped Aang and you?” 

Zuko rubs his temple before declaring, “She is our only option! Do you know how many laws we've broken throughout this process? I was okay with that but this...what needs to be done, I can't do it. And I wouldn't put that burden on either of you.” 

Mai and Toph are silent as they take in Zuko's words. 

A few moments later, Azula saunters into the warehouse, covered in blood. 

With an exaggerated bow and in a haughty voice, Azula declares, “Fire Lord Zuko, I am honored to have served our great nation. May your flame burn forever.” 

Zuko shakes slightly as he returns her bow. 

The siblings stand side by side watching the golden rays spread across the sky. 

Azula looks at her brother with sharp and intense eyes. “How did you know I was going to follow through with it?” 

“I didn't. I believed that you would act in this nation's best interest.” 

As warmth dances across his skin, Zuko watches his sister sling a knapsack over her shoulder before she begins to walk down the mountainside. 

In an unsteady voice, filled with more emotions than he wanted to express he says, “Goodbye, Azula.”

Her head twists to look back at him, her braid shifting in the wind as she stops walking. “Goodbye, Zuko.”

They both know that this is the last time they will ever see each other. 

* * *

He sits in the garden with his mother, breaking off pieces of bread to feed the turtles as his younger (younger) sister plays with a kite. 

Ursa arrived at the palace two days before. His mother was clad in well-worn Earth Kingdom clothes, her hair tied in a loose bun with his nine year old sister at her side. In his sitting room over bowls of noodle soup she shared what had happened to her. From the plan she and his father came up with to her living in the colonies with her parents until she heard whispers that his father was looking for her and the child he suspected she had given birth to. After that she traveled all the way to a small village in the isolated Taihau Mountains and worked as a herbalist for the people there. She cries as she tells him that she only heard of the war being over a couple months prior and made her way to Caldera to find him. 

His mother laughs softly as the turtleducks approach them, quacking excitedly at being fed.

This reminds him so much of the peaceful times in his childhood, before the war was made real by Lu Ten's death, before fear and anger became close companions of his.

“Zuko, where is Azula? Why does no one speak of her?”

“She's gone, Mother and I don't think she'll ever return home.”

His mother leans over slightly and drops a large piece of bread into the water. 

Zuko reaches over to pick it up but brings his hand back, instead watching as the many turtleducks swarm the piece, each tearing off pieces of it until there is none remaining.

* * *

He joins his Uncle in the kitchen of the Jasmine Dragon to begin preparing for the morning rush. 

The variety of scents hit his nose-some light and fresh, others sweet and floral, and he shakes his head as he remembers the old days of hating tea more than anything. Of how he learned to appreciate tea just as he learned to appreciate the world.

After the morning rush has passed, they sit on a small table and take long sips of jasmine tea. 

Iroh asks, “Did Lady Mai not wish to make this trip?”

Zuko runs his finger along the rim of the cup as he tries to hide his blush. “She did but she is spending time with her mother and brother. Tom-Tom is about to enter the Royal Academy for Boys.”

His alert amber eyes hold Zuko's gaze. “You two are dating again.”

With widened eyes, Zuko stammers, “How did you know?”

A knowing smile appears on Iroh's face. “Some things you just know, Zuko.”

Zuko returns to running his finger along the rim of the cup, looking into the orange liquid. 

“But there is something else or _someone_ else.”

A sad laugh erupts from Zuko's lips and he does not even try to deny his Uncle's claim. “Yes. After the war, Katara and I...I mean- I thought that maybe we could have had something but overtime we just stopped writing to each other and my feelings became less certain. But I still think of her and a part of me still wonders if and what- I don't know. It has been four years since I've heard from her.”

In a soft voice, Iroh replies, “I see. Do you want to be with her?”

Zuko closes his eyes to stop the tearing pooling into them. “Spirits, I don't know. I think maybe the only reason I feel conflicted is that she promised to come back. I told her I wouldn't wait and I haven't been waiting but what if she does come back? Then what will I tell Mai? I don't want to hurt Mai because I love her, I do love her but this thing or not-thing with Katara, I have to know.”

Iroh reaches a warm hand across the table and places it on top of Zuko's hand. “Were you not invited by Master Sokka to the New Moon Festival? I think you should go to the South Pole and talk to Master Katara in person. When you see her and speak to her then you'll know if you love her and even then maybe you don't love her enough to leave Lady Mai to be with her.”

Zuko bites the inside of his cheek and nods. 

_I'll go to the South Pole then I'll know,_ he thinks to himself as he tries to push down the fear that he'll never be fully certain of who to love or how to love them. 

* * *

Zuko, Kiyi, Ursa, several royal guards, and his secretary, Jia, exit a simple boat and walk onto the dock of Harbor City. Out of respect for the past, Zuko decided that it was best to dock his large ship on Kyoshi Island and dress in simple and unadorned winter coats. He and his mother elect to go crownless for the duration of their stay in the Southern Water Tribe. 

Sokka, Suki, Aang, and Toph greet him at the dock with warm hugs and formal bows to Ursa and Kiyi. 

He cannot help but notice the slightly-pained looks on Chief Hakoda and the other members of his family. During the welcome reception, Zuko leans in towards Suki, whispering in her ear. 

“Where is Katara?”

Suki gives him a dejected smile. “No one knows. She left last month in the middle of the night. Her note said that she couldn't stay here anymore. She wrote that she wanted to travel, helping people set up clinics and hospitals, and improve infrastructure in rural areas. She doesn't want anyone to look for her.”

Zuko finishes his glass of ice wine and when he sets his cup down, Suki notices that the ice glass has melted slightly. 

* * *

Later, they all sit in Aang's guest quarters as the monk paces the room. “We have to find Katara. What if she is in trouble and needs our help?”

Toph finishes chewing a pierce of seal jerky. “I'm pretty sure Sugar Queen does not need help. Whatever dunderhead that decides to try to mess with her is going to need a sage to say their final rites.”

Aang scowls, narrowing his grey eyes at Toph. “Can you stop joking? This is the first time in years all of us are together and Katara just misses it! Why? Does no one want to figure out why?”

Suki pushes strands of hair behind her ears and speaks to Aang in soft tones. “Aang, she told us that she needed to be on her own. She'll come back when she's ready, I think we all should respect her journey.”

Sokka sets down his bag and seal jerky and speaks in a clear voice. “I was really angry when she left and I'll always worry about her because, well, she's my sister...but I love her. And when you love someone, you trust them. So I trust her to make the right choices and to come back when she's ready.”

Aang crosses his long arms and leans on to a wooden pole in the side of the room. He bites his lip until his eyes brighten slightly. Slowly, he looks down at Zuko and blurts out, “What do you think?”

Zuko's eyes look back and forth at their other friends as he furrows his brow. “Why does my opinion have any bearing on this situation?”

The Avatar blinks several times and his face pinches as he answers, “What do you mean? You and Katara are best friends.”

Pushing strands of his coal hair out of his eyes, Zuko sighs, “Last time I checked best friends communicate with each other.”

Aang bites the inside of his cheek and slumps against the pole as his face contorts in confusion. “No, that can't be right. I mean, the last time she wrote to me, she told me that she was going to start writing to you again.”

Zuko lets out a low and bitter laugh. “Well, she never did.” 

Sokka, Suki, Toph, and Aang all stammer in their attempts to say something, anything to ease the tension in the room. 

Zuko rises quickly and heads to the door. “I'm sorry for ruining the mood. I-uh, goodnight everyone. I promised my sister that I would tell her a story before she went to sleep. We can all talk more tomorrow.”

Kiyi huddles beneath a mountain of furs as Zuko reads her a story about the old man who made the flowers bloom. As she drifts to sleep, he presses a soft kiss to her forehead and exits her room. 

He finds his mother drinking tea in the common area and she hands him a cup. 

“Katara...she was the one who saved you?”

“Yes.”

“Are you in love with her?”

“Yes but I’m not sure that matters anymore.”

* * *

The next day, under a clear blue sky, Zuko and Aang go through the katas, feeling the sun's energy run through them. 

Aang clears his throat. “I'm sorry about yesterday.”

Zuko closes his eyes and switches to another form. “It wasn't your fault. You didn't know.”

After they finish, they stand and breathe in the frigid air.

The Avatar looks at him and Zuko could swear that he sees something ancient in his wide grey eyes. “Katara really cares for you, Zuko. I used to be jealous of the way she would talk about you, look at you.”

Zuko tilts his head upwards at the sun. “She has a strange way of demonstrating that care. The one time she is guaranteed to see me in years, she leaves. I don't think she wanted to see me.”

Aang kicks at the snow and whispers, “Maybe it wasn't that she didn't want to see you...maybe it was that she didn't want you to see her.” 

Three days later, on the ship heading back to the Fire Nation, Zuko stands on deck as Jia speaks to him about any policy changes. 

“Your majesty, would you like to continue to handle this region personally?” 

“No, Jia. I think it is time we designate an envoy and full staff to deal with all matters related to the Southern Water Tribe and Kyoshi Island.”

The young woman nods and leaves Zuko to stare at the waves as they hit the side of the ship. 

* * *

Mai is standing on the balcony of the royal residence on Ember Island, watching the tide pull into the shore. 

Zuko wraps an arm around her waist and places a pearl engagement comb in her hand. 

The noblewoman turns to kiss Zuko deeply. 

When they pull apart she looks at him with shining eyes. “I love you.” she whispers.

He closes his eyes, briefly thinking of Katara and her words before whispering back, “And I you.” 

* * *

In one of the many drawing rooms of the palace, the Fire Lord takes tea with a ghost (not a ghost but a living person, a living person that has for several years existed as a distant memory and not as an active person in his life.)

She is dressed in Fire Nation clothing, not too different from what she wore during their travels. Her chestnut hair is shorter, falling just below her shoulders and she has matured into a beautiful and graceful woman. She looks over at him with her azure eyes and he knows that it is truly Katara. 

Occasionally he had thought of what he would say or do if she ever appeared but now that she is in front of him, he has no idea how to even begin a conversation. He doesn't even know what he's allowed to feel about her.

“Why are you here?” 

Katara sets down her tea. “I wanted to see you.” 

“Why aren't you with Aang? The man who has spent years searching for you across the world! Or better yet, your brother? Sending him a letter every couple of months is not enough. Do you even realize how you've made us all-” 

He stops, processing what she said. She wanted to see _him_. _Him._ The man she hasn't spoken to in almost a decade. 

Zuko watches Katara bite her lip and try to steady a trembling hand. “Zuko, I'm so sorry for not writing to you. I'm not sorry for going off and traveling on my own. I needed to do that for me but I'm so sorry for not writing but after you stopped writing to me, I thought that-” The waterbender pauses, opening and closing her mouth before starting a new sentence. “It doesn't matter who stopped writing first. I'm just sorry. When I traveled, sometimes I found things that would remind me of you, things that I wanted to tell you about. I still want to help but I’ve had enough of moving every couple of weeks for years on end. It felt right but it didn't and I didn't understand why until one morning, I saw the sun rising over the ocean. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I realized something. Something that I have always known. I want to belong somewhere, to someone. I want to belong to you, Zuko. I love you very much. I know it's been so long and you probably hate me but if there is any chance that you still have feelings for me, I'll stay here.” 

Zuko is silent, in complete shock so Katara continues, wiping tears from her eyes. “I know this is very sudden for you and we can go at any pace you feel comfortable with. I just want you to be happy. I’ll do anything to make you happy, Zuko.” 

Waves and waves of emotions, memories, and thoughts rush through Zuko. He feels like he's drowning, being swept off to sea. Slowly and in between pauses, he says, “Katara, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I could have kept writing to you but I didn't, I could have tried to look for you. Maybe a part of me never believed you, was too afraid to. I couldn't believe that you could ever care for me.” 

“Zuko, what's wrong? What has happened?” 

Softly, he says, “I’m sorry. Mai and I...do you remember her? I asked her to marry me a couple months ago.” 

In a low voice, she asks, “Do you love her?”

“Yes.” 

Her next question is formed slowly and her voice cracks as she poses it. “Did you ever love me?” 

His voice is hoarse and halted as he answers, “I did, so much. I still do but I’ve chosen to be with Mai.” 

Zuko blinks back tears as he watches her rise slowly, taking light steps towards the door. She bows before him, trying to hide the emotion in her voice. “Fire Lord Zuko, thank you for your hospitality but I must leave. I wish you and Lady Mai a thousand years of happiness.”

He reaches over towards her and she draws away from him. 

“Katara, please don't leave like this. You are my friend, I care for you so much. Uncle will be here in a couple days, he would love to see you. My mother, she's here now. She has been wanting to meet you for years, to thank you for saving my life. I have another sister, Kiyi, she's so fun and bright. She loves when I tell her stories of our adventures. Please don't go, I'm afraid that I'll never see you again.”

She smiles at him but there is so much sorrow in it and all he wants to do is comfort her. “I can't stay here, Zuko. I want to but I know I can't. I can't watch you be happy with Mai when all I want is for you to be happy with me. You'll see me again, I think I'm going to go stay with Sokka in Republic City. You can write to me at his address but it'll probably take me some time to answer you. Goodbye.”

The firebender watches her leave the room and in frustration he flips the table over, breaking the tea set. Zuko lets out a sharp breath before slumping back down onto the cushion holding his head in his hands as he cries. 

* * *

It is early in the morning and Zuko is filled with a joy and a peace that he never thought possible. In his arms, he holds his sleeping daughter, Izumi. Her beautiful eyes are closed but when they open, the shade of gold matches his own. He smooths down her dark hair as a wide smile forms on his face. 

She is perfect, completely and utterly perfect. Her features are a beautiful blend of his and Mai's. He still cannot believe that he played a role in creating something so pure. 

In the hours before the party, Zuko, Mai, and Izumi sit to have their portrait done. His daughter is a quiet baby, very unlike the loud and fussy babies of the royal family. He is happy that she seems to have inherited Mai's calm temperament. Agni knows the royal family has had more than enough boisterous dragons in its line. 

Later that afternoon, at the celebration of her 100 days, he serves his close friends and family dyed red eggs and pickled ginger. They present Izumi with traditional gifts of clothing and hats as she laughs, causing her longevity pendant to shift and tinkle.

After Izumi is set down for her nap, Mai goes off to speak with her mother and brother while Zuko sits on the upper floor balcony with Toph, Suki, and Ty Lee. 

Sokka comes out onto the balcony, holding a wrapped gift from Katara. 

The swordsman rubs the back of his neck as Zuko opens the gift. “Katara knows that it isn't a traditional gift so she is giving this in addition to the clothes she and Aang gave earlier.” 

Zuko nods and looks at the book of Water Tribe tales and a hand-stitched blanket with the characters for his name and Mai's name in the corners with the characters for Izumi's name in the middle. 

He sets down the book and runs his hand over the neat stitching of the letters. “This is beautiful, I'll send her a thank you letter. Uh, where do I send it?” 

Suki says, “Well, you know she and Aang are dealing with the floods in the Southern Earth Kingdom. I would just wait until they get back to Republic City.” 

Ty Lee lets out a squeal of delight, “I'm so happy that she and Aang are finally engaged. Katara will be such an amazing mother. Those kids will be so lucky.” 

Sokka grimaces, “Can you wait until I'm not around to talk about my sister and children! Please, I just ate.” 

Ty Lee lets out a soft laugh. “Sokka! Come on! You have to admit your sister would have adorable children. Not more adorable than Izumi, that's impossible...but they would come close.” 

Toph slides down into her chair and snorts as she takes another sip of her fire whiskey. “Please! Can you all stop acting like she isn't just with him just because Zuko's-” 

Suki pinches Toph's side and the earthbender stops, remembering to not give voice to the things they know but prefer to never acknowledge. 

The conversation switches to something else and Zuko tightens his grip the railing as red-velvet and blush pink threads dance across the sky. 

* * *

The snow slushes beneath their feet as Zuko walks hand and hand with Izumi through Harbor City. The Fire Lord smiles as his daughter looks up at the ice sculptures, bridges, and towering buildings in awe. Izumi is five years old and Zuko thought the New Moon Festival was the perfect time for her first visit to the Southern Water Tribe. 

“Daddy, have you been here before?” Izumi asks as she looks up at him with bright golden eyes. 

With a soft smile, Zuko wipes away the snowflakes that have fallen onto her neat top-knot. “I came here before you were born but I haven't been here in a long while.”

Izumi continues to question him about the tribe and snow and the friend that he told her he has here. 

They walk to an igloo at the edge of the city, one of the few traditional homes left in the South Pole. 

His daughter looks up at the beautiful and kind woman standing in front of her. 

Zuko places his hand on Izumi's shoulder and says, “Zumi, this is my friend, Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. She sends you a handmade gift for your birthday each year. Don't be shy, why don't you bow like Daddy taught you?”

Izumi bows before Katara in the traditional Water Tribe fashion and Katara returns it. 

The waterbender holds Izumi's hand to lead her into the igloo but Izumi pauses in the doorway, a slight furrow appearing on her brow. “Are you really one of my daddy’s friends?”

Katara does not look at Izumi, instead looking back at Zuko. With eyes gentle and kind like the summer sea, she answers, “Yes, I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly cannot fully explain why I wrote this. I don't even read fics like this, I read Zutara for the happy endings but this idea just came to me in the middle of the night. I am easing myself back into working on my long fic (wwnc) and I just felt like writing something totally different to get back into the flow of writing. Sorry for the sadness, I made myself cry as I wrote Katara's confession. Sorry for causing emotional distress because our community has gone through way too much of that over the years. On twitter though there seems to be a group of Zutara fans that live for fics where Zuko and Katara don't end up together. So I hope some people out there find this up their alley. Thank you for taking the time to read :)


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